I’m 9 mos pregnant. I feel like I’m there for everyone and no one is really there for me. Prior to being pregnant and married, I was the single auntie, sister, etc, so it was if there was expectation for me to buy buy buy. I am very generous, and have always been but this year I don’t feel inclined to do so. My due date is xmas eve. I have enough on my mind with the impending birth of my child. I don’t know if I’ll have a job to return to once my maternity leave is over since I’ve exhausted my FMLA. I work for one of the bailout companies so being out of work wouldn’t be so bad, less stress considering I’m an auditor for them. My husband is also returning back to school once the semester starts. I would have to shop for my husband, mom, brother and sister.
My mother in law and sister in law are coming to visit this month or next when the baby is born. I have a half-sister, niece and nephew in another state, who recently came to visit. My sister couldn’t make my baby shower which was in November she later came to visit around thanksgiving. I gave the kids some digital cameras as gifts. This year I don’t feel like shopping for anyone but my baby, and as I think of it, although I’ve showered my sister’s kids with xmas gifts each year, one child is 8 the other is 4. I’ve never ever received a xmas gift from them ever. Would I be wrong for not shopping for my niece and nephew in light of me having the baby, or am I expected to still buy something for them because they are kids? How do I handle my mom, bro and other sister? My mom doesn’t want anything for xmas she says her grandchild is her gift. My brother has this feeling of entitlement, he thinks he should get get get, and my sis I’m not sure how she will feel. How do I handle this? By the way, my husband is very generous, sometimes too generous, I think he’ll still break his neck trying to make everyone happy although we have more important things to worry about.
Oh and even though my sister came to vist and didn’t make my shower, she and her husband showed up at my house without a gift. I really didn’t think about it until after they left and my mom asked if they brought a gift to which I said no. So I was pretty hurt by this considering I’ve been like Santa Claus to their kids forever.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
you’re totally not wrong for not wanting to buy christmas gifts for anyone.
your family should understand that you’re about to give birth and the arrival of a new baby takes a lot of money.
if your family cannot understand the fact that this year just isn’t the greatest for gift giving, they’re just plain selfish.
and also talk to your husband about how he shouldn’t worry about being such a people pleaser and that he needs to focus on you and your new baby.
hope this helps
congratulations on your baby!!
Presents should never be an expectation. In this case, you have never received presents from them anyway. You can stop giving them presents. You needn’t even provide a reason. After all, if they really enjoyed receiving the presents and wanted for you to continue, wouldn’t they have reciprocated?
I would like to add that it is considered bad form for a sister or family member to hold the baby shower, which is perhaps the reason why she didn’t.
they might expect it (humans are creatures of habit) but considering your circumstances they really should give you a break. maybe just get a little gift (around like $5) and let them know how you feel so they dont bitch
they will understand especially cause of the bad economy and all… your sister has no reason to get mad if you dont get her kids anything cause they havent gotten you anything. maybe a small gift for everyone from the dollar store or somewhere… merry christmas and good luck with the baby!
You have the best reason in the world not to run yourself ragged this Christmas!
You don’t want to go into labor in the middle of some overly crowded shopping center, do you?
Unfortunately, your extended family has become spoiled with your generosity. Well, this year — what’s the phrase? — they can just "suck it up". Not "doing for" them doesn’t mean you don’t love them!
Your soon-to-arrive baby is your number one priority. And I’m with your mother on this one: that arrival will definitely be the best Christmas present ever!
So relax, stay home, put your feet up, keep warm and, Merry Baby!
well i think you just should get the ppl who love and enjoy the christmas spirit